On Friday I submitted my first ever paper to my first ever real I-am-a-presenter conference. It's not a very good paper, and my presentation will be more about 'these are all the problems I had with my data, anyone got good ideas how to fix them?', but it is submitted, and I'm hoping I can have a bit of a life again now.
Today is my first day off in two weeks. Before that, things weren't exactly slow going either. I've now worked through two public holidays, a whole weekend, and I basically left the house at seven thirty to stumble back in between eight and nine every day last week. I submitted my paper on 20.30 on Friday evening, with three and half hours to spare on the 'deadline'. Yesterday I zombiliciously tried to draft my presentation (I am presenting this paper to the department on Monday, for a trial run), but could not get my brain to engage, and did it this morning then.
And I was constantly wavering between being a little bit impressed with myself that I really could put in this much focused work for an extended period (and not just an emergency night shift!) and being all waaaah
because the paper was still just not very good. It was an interesting lesson in how long it really
takes to write a draft paper; on the other hand, I'm thinking I ought to maybe break myself of the habit of thinking that whenever work piles up like that, it's entirely my fault for being lazy and I suck at work
, because occasionally it also has to do with shit like being on the fucking road all the time for work
and doing stuff for my bosses for work
So, anyway, on Monday I have the presentation before boss & colleagues, and next weekend, I will take a long weekend to make up for my missed public holidays, feeling that I am both entitled and that this will be healthy
.Dear Kame, Jin, KAT-TUN, and Johnny,
I am very appreciative of the fact that none of you brought about any of the still outstanding fandom catastrophes I keep bracing myself for, i.e. that you did not get hit by a bus (Kame), officially quit the entertainment business (Jin), disband (KAT-TUN) or fire Jin (Johnny), during a time when I really did not need the distraction. I am now mentally preparing myself for you to return to your usual one-disaster-a-month schedule, but I do thank you for the well-timed break.Dear Bomb Girls,
thank you for being my catnip when I really needed some catnip. (Jonip?) I will post about you soon.Dear conference organisers,
thank you for letting me come to your conference and even paying my travel fees. I swear that I am taking your conference seriously, despite any appearances to the contrary my paper may create!
Oh, and, let it not be said that I don't get some mileage out of all my goddamn travelling -- because it made no difference money-wise, I'm not flying out to the conference via Frankfurt (take that, Frankfurt airport! HA!) but Düsseldorf, which means I get to see solo
on the way back when she visits her folks!
PS: for EXTRA SPECIAL WOEZ, on Saturday morning, I pulled up the shutters, and what did I see on my balcony? A dead bird, with a little puddle of blood next to it. Thank you, village cats, for this thoughtful gift. I don't consider myself a squeamish person in general, but what I really wanted to do was stand on a chair and squeal
until someone rescued me. SO. GROSS. I put tissues on it and attempted to lift it with an inside-out trash bag, but at the moment I would have felt the weight
I totally balked and ran back inside. I, um. May have called my mother, to ask if she could come over and help. But the line was busy and eventually I told myself to get over it. But srsly. So. gross.