jona: a failing panda (panda - fail)
[personal profile] jona
So I woke up and my desktop PC couldn't connect to the internet. I'd been having wifi issues for a while even before I went to Japan, timeouts and weird interruptions. When I got back from Japan the wifi didn't work either on my PC or my laptop anymore at all; the O2 guy I talked to the day after I came back from Japan reassured me that nothing was wrong with the router, and told me to do a reset. Stuff was sometimes working after that but still wonky, and at some point I went for the idiot solution and just plugged my long emergency LAN cable. But this morning not even the LAN cable wanted to work anymore. (My mobile phone, weirdly enough, can still connect to the wifi, but after trying a LAN cable and two different wifi adapters on the PC, and resetting everything there, I really don't think the problem is the PC.)

So I called O2. Had actually competent tech guy on the phone who asked me about resets and the whole complicated story, and then went, "yeah, what I see here in terms of the router history and interruptions, your router might be on its way out." He wanted to do a diagnosis with a reset, but since my landline goes through the router too, we couldn't do that and keep talking at the same time. So he told me to hang up, do the reset again (and correctly, because two-weeks-ago guy never told me it was vital to unplug any LAN cables), and if I was still having problems, to call the "direct O2 mobile hotline, 55222" from my O2 mobile so then a diagnosis could be done we didn't need the landline for.

I hung up, did the reset, internet still wouldn't work. I dialled 55222 from my mobile. Announcer lady rattled off a number that was more like 12 digits long and went, "Calls cost 1.99 Euros per minute from the start of the conversation, any other price information is invalid." I HUNG UP.

Called the helpline again through my landline. "Good morning, my name is Jo Lasalle, and I called earlier…" Got other tech guy on the phone. Explained to him the entire story above, added adventure with 55222 number and my mobile.

Jo: "... and then I got an announcement I was going to pay two euros per minute, and I hung up."
Tech guy: "Good!"

Okay, he didn't know wtf had happened with the phone call, he definitely sounded like I was not supposed to pay 1.99 a minute. [Spoiler: In my excitement I had forgotten that I switched mobile providers last year, and that my mobile was actually no longer with O2. I have no idea where I ended up with the 55222. #^_^#]

He looked at my data again and agreed I probably needed a new router. He was also very eager to check if he could give me a better deal.

Jo: "Thanks for checking, but I'm not holding my breath here. I live in the inaka, what I have is the best there *is*."
Tech guy: "Oh, but technology moves so fast, and we build new things all the time. You'll laugh, just wait!"
Jo: "As long as I don't cry..."
Tech guy: "LOL, okay, give me a moment..."
Tech guy: "Okay, erm. What you have is kind of the best there is."
Jo: "I told you."

So, he's going to put in an 'enquiry' if there is stuff that is not in the system yet (hahahaha) but basically agreed that I needed a new router.

Tech guy: "I can send you a new Fritz Box that'll run you... around two hundred euros."
Jo: "You know... no."
Tech guy: "Yeah, this is a problem..."
Jo: "You realise this is the kind of thing that makes me look for a different provider where they'll give me the router for free just for joining up, right?"
Tech guy: "Yes. Let me put you through to somebody."

That actually took a while, and I'll probably dream of the O2 on-hold music, though I should also say that their on-hold music is much improved to what they used to have a while ago. Or maybe it just sounds less ear-damaging when not heard through tinny, bad-reception cell phones. By this time, I was starting to feel like I was a little parrot called Jo.

Contract lady: "Good morning and welcome at O2. How may I help you?"
Jo: "Good morning, my name is Jo Lasalle, and... okay, can you actually read up on how you may help me, because I have been repeating this story a lot this morning..."
Contract lady: "LOL, yes, give me a moment." […moment…] "Okay, so you need a new router."
Jo: "Yes, and your colleague told me I could get a Fritz Box for two hundred euros, and I said no."
Contract lady: "Good call!"

She then offered me the Fritz Box for just under €60 including shipping, with 5 years warranty, and when I pointed out that it was kind of shitty I had to pay money because the equipment I got from them to use their service I was already paying for was broken, she was like, "Yeah, I know," and she gave me a rebate on the next six months of my contract that'll amount to €30 total, so all in all I'll be paying €30 for a new router that'll be here in 2-3 days, and I figured I can live with that in order to get it sorted.

She also asked if I wanted to keep my cancellable-at-four-weeks-notice contract, and I said yes, because I have so much trauma around being trapped in telecommunications contracts that I went NEVER AGAIN at some point, and have stuck to paying all the upmark and installation costs they tend to waive when you sell them your soul. And at the end, I went, "So let me confirm, explicitly, that this is not tied to a minimum contract period now..." And she went, "Yes, explicitly, this is not tied to a minimum contract period..." So I hung up.

Then I got the confirmation email. Which included the €5-a-month-for-6-months rebate, and the helpful information that "this loyalty deal is only valid with a minimum contract period of 24 months."

RAWR. Or, well. *eyebrow* So, I called the hotline again. Got yet another person again. This was admittedly the least relaxo bit, because I led with, "Good morning, my name is Jo Lasalle, and I have been talking to various O2 employees since 9:30, and to cut a long story short, I was promised a rebate without a change in contract duration, and now the email includes a 24-months contract duration, and I would like this fixed." The lady was correspondingly terse with me, BUT, wonder of wonders, while I was on hold for a really long time that time, I was actually put through to the same woman I'd talked to before.

"Good morning, my name is Jo Lasalle, and... did we just speak? I recognise your voice!"
"Hee, yes, that's me, and I just realised I sent you the wrong email!"

So, it was in fact the wrong email, and she was about to send me the fixed email, and we chatted a bit nice and relaxo and I asked if I could stay in the line until I had the email because I didn't want to have to call again and do the whole song and dance again, and that was okay, and then I got the email, which now contained and explicitly explicit note about the "loyalty deal" not being connected to any change in contract duration.

And that was my morning. This was kind of an unneeded hassle and pretty much the kind of stuff that eats my brain, but on the other hand, I am somewhat bewildered by how pleasant the whole thing went -- I don't really associate talking to telecommunications companies with fun but... this was at least the most fun I ever had talking to a telecommunications company! Actual humans who talked like humans not a manual (and even if that stuff is in their manual, at least that's a good manual!), and had a sense of humour!

I'm tethering via my mobile now, and am crossing my fingers the new router will arrive quickly and without any connection fukkuppis.

Good afternoon! My name is Jo Lasalle!
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jona: (Default)
the paranoid android

December 2015

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